Polonius Thoughts

So, like a good Farker, while at work, I was doing some puttering around and surfing between phone calls and e-mail. Searching for information on Polonius, I came across this:

The Lord Chamberlain of Claudius’s court, a pompous, conniving old man.

Reading that, I was somewhat dismayed. I suppose that this could be an actor’s choice, but I really don’t think that its supported in the text. Reading over the text, I see a man who (a) knows his place and isn’t looking to advance beyond it, and (b) a man who very much loves his children.

I’ve read a few things that suggests that Polonius is a social climber, trying to increase his standing and position. And that is really not supported in the text. The text doesn’t show Polonius as being interested in climbing higher than he is. Where else could he go? He is the Chamberlain of the court. He’s a close advisor to the king. There is, in fact, no higher that he could go, since in essence, he is second only to the King.

I think that this is a man who is very much tied to tradition and decorum. As Chamberlain, these things were the motor that powered his life. It seems to me that his is a family that has often served this function. Tradition and decorum seem to be almost bred into his bones.

I think that he loves his children very much. I think, however, that he was not good with them when they were small. I have difficulty imagining Polonius kneeling to play with the children. Or picking them up and carrying them on his shoulders (Of course, in Shakespeare’s day, I don’t think Polonius’ difficulty with children would have been thought of as unusual. In the modern era - which is how we now judge him, it would be thought unusual). I can picture him, unable to connect with his young children, watching them play together from around the corner, longing to play with them but not knowing how.

Now that they are older, he can relate to them as adults. Now, he wishes to express to them all the wisdom he can give them, and impress upon them the lessons he has learned, in an attempt help them be good adults. His son, one imagines, he hopes will learn to temper his anger and take over the post of Chamberlain when Polonius can no longer do so. His daughter, he hopes will find herself a husband who is good to her and to whom she can be a good wife. The way that he tells Ophelia that her dalliance with Hamlet is doomed is (I think) filled with love for her. He is not being cruel, neither to Ophelia nor to Hamlet. He knows that Hamlet, as a prince of Denmark is not the master of his own future. He may one day marry, but his marriage will be performed for political reasons: he will marry a princess of some nation to bring about a more solid relation with that nation. Even if Hamlet wished to do so, he could never marry Ophelia (as far as Polonius can see). Any dalliance between them is doomed, since Hamlet could never marry Ophelia. He tells her to end the relationship, not because he wishes to hurt her, but rather, to protect her.

Well, that’s enough rambling from me. I’m not actually going anywhere with this… just musing “out loud” so to speak.

Stupid Media

OK. So, on Wednesday, some freakshow idiot, walked into a Montreal School and started shooting people. Fortunately there were some police on campus already, and they acted quickly. The gunman was shot.

Now, the media hand wringing begins. It appears that the gunman considered himself a “goth”, and played “violent video games” and posted on “scary web sites”. The media, from the Toronto Star, to the Sun, to the CTV News. Have been giving examinations (which are really little more than a gloss) of gaming culture, and the goth scene. You know how it goes “how did ___ turn this man into a killer?”.

Sad truth for the news papers and tv news journalists. The Goth scene didn’t turn this guy into a killer. I know lots of people who are members of the goth scene. Not a single one is a murderer, hell most of them aren’t even close to violent. I also know lots of people who play video games. Again, each and every one of them knows the difference between the Game World and the Real World and would never think of actually picking up a gun.

News Flash: it wasn’t goth or video games that turned this guy into a killer. He was just crazy.

Web site update

I redesigned my “professional” site.

I wasn’t too happy with the way it looked. Sure, it was clean and nice looking, but it didn’t look like I “Lived there”. So I updated it and I’m quite happy with it now.

Trouble on the internets

There’s a dangerous change on the horizon in Internet Land.  In the US, there is a law being considered by Congress that would, in effect, abolish the “Network Neutrality” of the internet.  What does that mean? 

Net Neutrality ensures that all users can access the content or run the applications and devices of their choice. With Net Neutrality, the network’s only job is to move data — not choose which data to privilege with higher quality service.

So, let’s say that you like to use Google as your search engine.  Your ISP, works out a deal with Yahoo, where Yahoo pays a fee to become the “sanctioned” search engine for your ISP.  Right now, your ISP cannot make it difficult for you to use Google by slowing down access to the site and keeping Yahoo loading quickly.  However, if the law that’s being considered by US congress were to go through, this could be the case.  The ISPs could charge a fee for “preferred status” to keep a site loading quickly (or loading at all), and those sites who do not pay for this status might find their sites loading more slowly (or not at all).

For the Americans reading this, I would urge you to go to savetheinternet.com and sign the petition.

I’ve seen a few sites that talk about this, and in the comments, I have seen some people say “well I live in Canada, so this doesn’t affect me”.  That’s the wrong attitude.  Sure, you can’t sign the petition, but you should watch what happens.  Because if this happens in the US, you have to know that there are ISPs in Canada that will try to get the same thing to happen here.  If it happens there, it could happen here.

There is a lot of information at savetheinternet.com, particularly the section on How this affects you. Also, check out the Big Lie of the Week, which contains gems like:

Don’t be fooled. Web sites like “Hands Off The Internet” are industry front groups — the products of high-priced consultants bought and paid for by the cable and phone industry. Companies like AT&T, Verizon, BellSouth and their trade associations are spending millions every week to mislead and misinform the American public.

Two Short Greeks

A theatre story. Years ago (I forget how many, and I’d rather not think about how many years ago it was, so I’m just going to stick with “years ago), I was in a production of Hamlet. I was playing the triple role of the Ghost, the Player, and the Gravedigger. I was actually a late addition to the cast (and by late, I joined the cast about two weeks into rehearsal), and spent the first little while trying not to be intimidated by being in a Shakespeare play (and Hamlet nonetheless).

These days, Shakespeare doesn’t phase me at all, but back then, I was a recent graduate of Theatre School and since school is an enclosed and specialized environment, my confidence at the beginning was a little shaky. I got over that though.

Rehearsals were a learning experience. Having just come from theatre school, I had some specific ideas about how reheasals were “supposed” to be. I learned that in practice, not every actor prizes things like being on time and showing up for rehearsals on a reliable basis. Turns out that some actors don’t consider these things important. I also learned about how actors tend to relate to each other in the “real world”, and watched as a long term relationship between two actors who had worked together for many many years was on the verge of self-destructing (in the end, it didn’t – mostly due to the inhuman patience of one of them).

However, I survived the rehearsal process and we Opened without incident. The first week was good, and we found audiences responding relatively well to the performance. Feeling pretty good about ourselves, we finished the first week and there was some revelry, and Jenngo, who was stagemanaging the show, showed me how the gang in the booth were passing the time: they were drawing and captioning cartoons.

They had some real beauties: A drawing of kermit and grover hanging out and smoking: the captions was: “muppets dallying” (inspired by the line: I could tell the difference between you and your love if I could see the puppets dallying).

A Picture of the Palace janitor, who’s name was Pat. (inspired by Hamlet’s line, Now might I do it pat. However, if you insert a comma, it becomes a question: Now might I do it, Pat?).

They were all quite silly, and all patently unfunny to anyone who does not have a familiarity with the show that performing it can give.

There was one more. One fateful cartoon: a drawing of the Player, striking at two short greeks. This was inspired by the Player’s line:

“Anon he finds him
Striking too short at Greeks; his antique sword,
Rebellious to his arm, lies where it falls,”

I thought this was the most hilarious thing. I remember giggling histerically when I first read it. I repeated it, and laughed some more.

We had a few days off, before the run continued, and during these days off, I played with the phrase quite often, going so far as to repeat the speech with the “new” wording:

“Anon he finds him
Striking at two short Greeks; his antique sword,
Rebellious to his arm, lies where it falls,”

Jenngo and I both enjoyed this, and found it funny. Jokingly, we said things like “wouldn’t it be funny if I said that in performance?” and knowing that I would never say that in performance, made us laugh more.

Before the next performance, the actor playing Hamlete approached Jenn about this, having heard me going on about the “two short greeks” backstage.

“He’s not going to say that in performance, is he?” he said.

“Of course not,” Jenngo answered, “Phil’s a professional.”

And that night, as the curtain went figuratively up, we were faced with our largest crowd yet. The Reviewer for the Toronto Star was present. And the show got off to a great start. It was shaping up to be one of those performances that just rocks.

And then came the Player scene. In this scene, the players have arrived at Elsinore, and Hamlet and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern greet them. Hamlet cooerces the lead Player to perform a favourite speech. And the Player obliges.

And when it came time, as I normally did, I jumped up on the table that was present and launched into the speech:

‘Anon he finds him
Striking at two short Greeks;’

And suddenly, in the middle of the speech, I realize what I have said. Still speaking, I can feel the laugh pulling at the corner of my mouth. I know I’m not the only one who heard it either. Desperately trying to fight off the laugh that I know is fighting to come out, I look at the actors playing my fellow players. However, all of them have suddenly found an intense interest in the workmanship of the floor. I would get no support from them.

My good friend Richard was playing Guildenstern, and I knew I could count on him. So, I looked to him. As soon as my eyes met his, he burst out laughing.

No support there.

Quickly looking down, I saw that the actor playing Hamlet was to be no help: he was currently engaged in banging his head on the floor.

My fellow actors were going to be no help, so I decided that I need to do something to stop the laugh (which was now starting to come out, no matter how I fought). There was a spotlight directly in front of me, so I stared into it, hoping that the bright light would make my eyes water enough to make the laughter stop.

That didn’t work.

I was running out of things I could do. I was loosing the battle against the laugh, all the while trying to fight my way through the speech.. There was one last person I could look to. Jenngo was my good reliable friend. I could count on her, and I knew that she would not let me down. So, I looked up at the booth.

And all I saw was a pair of keds in the air, as Jenn had fallen off her seat because she was laughing so hard.

I was doomed. I rushed through the rest of the speech, finished the scene and got off stage as fast as I could. Somehow, I managed to finish the show.

The rest of the week was shaky though. Each show, during the first scene between Hamlet and the Ghost, I would tentatively meet Hamlet’s eye, and if I felt a laugh coming, I would look away. I spent the rest of the week on stage looking only at the big medallion that Hamlet was wearing. I just couldn’t meet his gaze.

Eventually, the next week, I had finally got myself under control, and was able to meet the actor’s gaze. With relief, I launched into the show with relish. Finally, I could put this whole thing behind me.

There came a point in the show, where the actor playing Hamlet and I passed by each other. I was about to go on, and he was coming off stage. He stopped beside me on the Friday night:

“Phil, you’re not going to believe this.” He said.

“What?”

“Right there in the front row. You won’t believe who it is.” He said.

I was thinking an agent, maybe a casting director. From the way he was talking, I was sure that someone important was there. “Who?”

With an wicked smirk, he said “Two short greeks! Oh shit, you’re on!” and he pushed me towards the stage.

Writer’s tools

Today, I went searching for a new application to use in script writing.  There are a lot to choose from.  Final Draft is one of those applications that everyone swears by.  If you pick up the screenwriting magazines, its advertised all over the place.  Do a search at Google, and chances are the first thing to come up will be Final Draft.

Final Draft also goes for about $299 US.

So.  A little bit steep.  So, I do a little more searching.  And the average price is about $100 US.  There are some that are cheaper (about $50 US), but they don’t quite offer the kind of features that I’m looking for: a requirement for me is the ability to work as either a screenplay or as a stage play.  Many of the applications (with some exceptions) I’ve seen just don’t allow this: they stick with Screenplay and you can’t really deviate.

I found an application called Celtx that seems to fit the bill.  I’m still learning what it can do, but it seems to be an excellent tool for either screen or theatre.  And you can’t beat the price: its free (under an Open Source Licence).

I’m happy with this app right now, and I know that there are a number of writers who read this (at the site or through the LJ feed), so I thought I’d point it out for any of the writers who might be interested.

Now that I’m done shilling for Open Source, I’m off to bed.

The Horror…The horror…

Something terrible has happened.

I awoke this morning and as usual, I went to the coffee machine.  Its a lovely little contraption that Jenngo gave to me for my birthday, an Aroma Solo, and it has a nice little timer so that I can turn it on before I go to bed, and wake up to the lovely smell of fresh coffee.

Today, however, when I awoke there was no such smell.  I went to the machine, and it was “off”.  As in, no power, as though it weren’t plugged in.  I pressed the “on” button. 

Nothing happened.

I pressed the “on” button, again.

Nothing happened.

This was bad.  Coffee is my ambrosia, my life’s blood.  It makes me “go”.

I changed the socket that the machine was plugged into.  No difference.  I changed the plug back.  Still no difference.

I am going to have to go out and find some coffee shortly.  Me without coffee is a bad thing.  Without coffee, I am more like a shambling, slow moving zombie. 

So, shortly now, I will be shambling off to the nearest Tim Hortons (or other similar coffee providing location), and try to get some glorious caffeine into my system.

Follow-up: Dog Condoms

Thankfully, the dog condom thing? Not a real product.

Thank heaven for small mercies.

Lord of the disappointment?

This is kind of disappointing to read:

Over at the Toronto Star, Richard Ouzounian has a review of the Toronto’s huge production of Lord of the Rings which celebrated its opening night last night. This is how it starts:

There’s a moment late in the first act of The Lord of the Rings when it looks as though all the hopes and dreams Toronto had pinned on this show were going to come true.

Now when I read that, my stomach clenches a little, because when a review starts like that you know there’s a twist or disappointment coming…

It’s a stirring sequence, the kind that gives you goosebumps and makes you think, “That’s it, they’ve got it!”

All too sadly, that feeling never happens again and when the 3 1/2-hour, $28 million behemoth finally comes to an end, you may find yourself fighting back tears, but they’ll be ones of disappointment.

Mr. Ouzounian uses some powerful words and phrases to describe the show. Words like “dull”. Very similar things are said over at the Globe and Mail . The Sun has sort of a middle of the road non-commital review (which is probably the sun being uncharacteristically polite).

“Dull.” That really is probably the worst thing that you could say about this show (or any show). After all…this was the show that was supposed to “Save Toronto’s tourism industry”.

Now, chances are this show will run for a while, but word spreads. If the reviews in the media outside of Toronto continue in the same vein, it does not look good for this show.

Which is too bad. Toronto really needs a big show to put it back on the Theatrical Map.

Jonesing (if that is a verb)

I am jonesing. I’m jonesing to get some Theatre done.

I’m filled with this desire to be acting, and suddenly I realize that it has been over a year since I last performed in something. Yes, that was my turn as Puck in Midsummer, and I look very fondly on that performance - how could I not? Especially when I got reviews like this?

However, the best performance by far comes from Phil Rickaby as Puck. Looking like a young Willem Dafoe with devil horns and a goatee, and with an impish glint in his eyes, Rickaby plays Puck with a hint of maliciousness, clearly savouring the havoc he has wrought. Whether he’s hopping about the stage, clapping his hands with sheer delight as the lovers squabble, or grudgingly strumming a ukulele while the fairies warble “99 Red Balloons,” Rickaby is a joy to watch.

Yeah. Ok. That’s enough tooting my own horn. for now.

…and by the way, for the record, it was a mandolin and not a ukulele.

But lets face it, as complimentary as those words are, that was a year ago and I haven’t done anything since.

Much of the blame for that falls directly on my own shoulders, because I haven’t been as proactive with searching for auditions as I could be (or should be). I haven’t done as much as I should and I’ve procrastinated like a maniac. Which is one of the habits that brought me to the lack of professional success that I enjoy today.

That’s one of those things that I am fighting against…the procrastination. Its a horrible habit, and one that will hamper me more than anything else. I have to be more proactive. More active in general where the acting is concerned, I have to be willing to jump at more chances instead of hemming and hawing until its too late.

I also have some ideas for shows, and since I’ve taken over as Artistic Director of Simple Truth Theatre, there’s a company to produce shows with.

Yes. Ideas, ideas, ideas. They are really cool ideas too. But…cool costs money, so I’ll have to put those ideas on hold for the moment. Some ideas for plays to write as well.

There are some commitments that I have right now which keep me from fully pursuing some of these ideas of mine, but that won’t last too much longer. And then, I’ll have lost a major excuse and will either have to buckle down and get working, or come up with some new excuses.